‘That’ love doesn’t exist.

Today I am posting about a very interesting topic (in my opinion). Love. No, this post is not based on laws that were passed today. This post is about love. Plain and simple but extremely complicating love.

As you know I recently married my best friend. I have people asking daily how my marriage is going and if I am enjoying it. I get very excited to tell people how awesome it is, what gets me is the comments I get afterwards. Almost every one of these discussions ends with being told that love doesn’t exist. The mushy, sweet, over the top love, just is not real. What?! This completely baffles me that this becoming a very common belief to many people. Not just to women who think all men are the same either. Men believe that ‘that’ love doesn’t exist.

I am no love expert but I have fallen deeply in love and continue to fall in love everyday. I have found ‘that’ love and I feel that love from my sweet husband every single day. The first detail to understand is that, ‘that’ love is going to be different to every single person. While some people need constant attention from their significant others to feel loved, others may not. Each and every one of us is different and no love story will ever be the same. That being said. I am a firm believer that ‘that’ love does exist, and to be honest this world could use a lot more of it.

The main source of “proof” people seem to give me for this love not existing anymore is, “There is no one out there for me. I will be lonely for the rest of my life.” The first fact to get straight here is that no one and I will say it again absolutely no one, NEEDS, another person in their life to make them happy. This can relate back to many other topics that may be discussed in later posts. But the main issue is confidence, in both men and women. You must be happy with yourself exactly the way you are for another person to step in and feel the same way. You should be your own best friend and best company. It is very important to know in a relationship that you do not need anyone, you want them. I love my husband more than any words could describe but I do not need him, and he is very aware of that. I am also aware that he does not need me. We want each other. We take some burdens away from each other during difficult times. We become shoulders to cry one. We build each other up. We often become the crutch that holds everything together when either one of us becomes to weak. In simple terms we make life easier for each other. I will admit that I cannot imagine life without my husband in it, but I also know that in no way need him. Life would be much more difficult and harder to understand without him. But I know that I could do it, and that he could do it without me. It may not have the same outcome but it would still be done.

When one person becomes happy with themselves, it creates a huge opening for someone else to come in and give them that same love and even more. Now of course there will always be bad days. Days when your hair just isn’t right, or your smile is messed up. Sometimes you won’t always look your best, and one day you may not fit into those jeans anymore. But you are you. The person you want to be. There is no greater accomplishment than being yourself and loving yourself for doing that.

Too often people get caught up in past relationships. They believe that because one person has been dishonest with them, mistreated them, or whatever the situation may be, that every other person in the world will be the same. They bring the past into the present. Which in turn makes it even more difficult to for an honest relationship to form. The past can be extremely difficult to let go of, I am not passing judgement to anyone with a tough past but I know from experience the sooner you let go of it the easier and more honest any relationship (and life) will become.

So to all of you who think that all hope is lost, it’s not. ‘That’ love still exists. Just like anything else in this world it is what you make it. Whether ‘that’ love to you is different from someone else or if it’s exactly like a fairytale, it does exist. ‘That’ love to me is so many things. It is holding hands every chance we get. Telling each other all of out secrets. Kissing him whenever I feel I want to. Having a best friend. Kissing in the rain. Fighting. Making up. Laughing together. Taking walks. Going on long drives. Arguing for so long we can’t remember why we started. Making memories. Looking into his eyes and seeing right through him. Knowing every thought that crosses his mind before he has a chance to say it. Realizing that just when I thought I knew everything about him there is more. Watching him fail. Watching him succeed. Being the shoulder for him to cry on. Talking him through difficult times. Shutting up and just listening when needed. Dropping everything for him. Making him number one no matter what. Knowing that this love will last forever.

I hope that everyone understands love is out there. You do not need to go looking for it. No one is going to be there holding a sign that says ‘ I am the one.’ Love cannot be found until it has fallen into place. Let it fall, then find it. It does exist. There is no label for what it should be. All it needs to be is what makes both of you happy. ‘That’ love is special and when it has fallen into place it is so real. Cherish it and give it your all. Love comes with hard work but the outcome is so worth it.

-Mariah.

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